My sister-in-law is trying to sell her house. She was living with a jerk, who was sleeping with a neighbor. Now she’s living with us and the house is sitting empty.

She wanted my advice on some things, since I’ve dabbled in “that Real Estate thingy”. Something about capital gains and loss of income. Of course the laws changed just recently, so I’m not much help.

She finally figures out that a running mortgage plus taxes are going to eat up whatever she might save by waiting, so she puts it on the market.

Together, she and my wife are a fearsome team. Within twenty minutes the two of them together have come up with an ad that will sell swamp land. It starts out, “I got the house the car and the dogs. He got the neighbor’s wife.” You can just imagine what follows.

I’ve often suspected just how dangerous it was, living with a woman. I never realized the power that two of them together could generate. I got a sample earlier this year.

A friend on the Music Team at church was having a birthday. Phone calls made the rounds detailing a “surprise party” at the next practice. Now I’d rather do gag gifts than receive gold cufflinks any day, so I figured I’d give this girl something “appropriate”.

Several of the crew have a habit of going out for dinner after practice, and they frequently wind up at a Chinese buffet. This girl’s extreme dislike for Sushi has become quite well known, so my gift is obvious. I will give her a big package of Sushi.

While talking it over with my wife (sister-in-law in attendance), she (of course) has a better idea. Sis adds to the mix. Wife throws in a little more. This is fast getting out of hand!

Finally the day of the party arrives. The girl unwraps a carton boldly marked “At Home – Do It Yourself – SUSHI KIT. Opening the package, she finds a pair of chopsticks resting atop a single packet of boil-in-bag rice. Under the rice is a pack of dried seaweed. She lifts out the seaweed to find, in the bottom of the box, a zipper seal bag containing twenty four live goldfish swimming around in a pint of water.

She screams. The girl taking pictures almost drops the camera. Some people move toward the exit, while others step closer for a better look. I quickly confess, “It was my wife’s idea!”

She laughs long and hard, and tells me it’s the best gift she’s ever gotten, and weeks later everyone is still talking and laughing about it.

But I’m worried. Sis is still living with us. Of course I’m not going to do anything to mess up the relationship with my wife, but I’m afraid to even have another birthday. They’ll get me.

I still don’t know how they replaced all the peanuts with wood chips without even breaking the seal on the can.

I’m scared.


Quote for the day:

Do not worry if you have built your castles in the air. They are where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.

Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)